Sunday, February 20, 2011

Existential Crisis: Action Vs. Self

I Kinda need to be leaving in a bit for the matinee show of Rent today.

But lately, I've been thinking a lot about where I am at this point of my life, and where exactly I wanna go.

I've left SM already and I'm now full-time with 9 Works Theatrical. The ride has been hella fun, and hella stressful given that I am now PR and Marketing Director for the company - a lot of responsibility for someone my age. Thankfully, I'm able to keep up with the demands of the job, though I'm thoroughly understaffed. Not the point. Point is: the nature of the business is that you're busy as far as before the show opens (in the pre-production stages), but once it does, it's like all of a sudden, I have all this time on my hands. Time. Something I'm not entirely comfortable with.

Too much time on my hands makes me uneasy. It's like now, I don't know what do anymore coz I wake up everyday and there's less and less things-to-do on my planner. I always say that man is the sum of all his actions. You are essentially what you do. But if I'm not doing anything, then who am I? I'm a workhorse, a slave to my work - but when there's nothing for me to do at the moment, it's like I have no anchor... Unlike when I was in SM, it was always work, work, work. What do I do?

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