104: SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Silence. It's something for me that is thoroughly unsettling. It's not something I'm easily comfortable with and it's not something I can have with just anyone. Even with my parents, I can't afford to have silence because I feel that there's something wrong when things go quiet. I feel that complete silence is deafening - which is why my a.d.d.ness always acts up on me and I end up brain vomiting just about anything to keep a conversation going. I think I get it from my mom. She's not comfortable with silence either and I know a lot of people aren't. Ergo, all the a.d.d. people in the world.

A wise man recently said that comfortable silence happens when you stop trying to impress other people and you just get comfortable being yourself. Maybe, silence eludes me 'coz I'm constantly trying to prove myself to people. Maybe the host in me is always activated and I'm always trying to accommodate people and make sure they're okay. That is my strength after all. Maybe if I just went about doing my own thing, not caring about what other people thought, then I'd have lived a more carefree, magnetic, and fulfilling life.

Recently, I came face to face with silence, comfortable silence and I must say... it's a great feeling to have. It's even a greater feeling to be shared. When you can just take it easy, vegetate, let time pass, and have an out-of-body moment with yourself and the universe. Your mind settles. Your heart settles and it doesn't pump all that blood in your system, making you awkward at the moment when silence pervades your personal space. When silence settles and all of a sudden, noise becomes the great unsettler. If only the world had more silence, less bickering, and more positivity, maybe we'd all be happier people... maybe the world would be a better place. Breathe. Live.

Off to Pangasinan. Kokak.

WHAT I ATE TODAY:
Lunch:
none

Merienda:
3 pcs. pepperoni crunch pizza from Shakeys
2 pcs. mojos w/ caesar dip

Dinner:
2 servings of white rice
2 servings of chinese lumpiang hubad
2 servings of pork asado

EXERCISE:
none


WEIGHT:
dunno


- 2000 and Thin