Today was crazy. I had so much stuff to do I seriously don't know how I got through it. Also, I missed the press con of RENT which I've been helping organize for the past few weeks. But the worst part was... my work buddy Pat was finally taken away from us by her other boss. The eviction has finally started. Seriously, it was like a flash flood. She was gone - just like that. Her table, her computer, her cabinet... gone. She went away for a meeting and that was that. We're all moving too so spirits are pretty down at my area. And it doesn't help that the weather was pretty bad today. Parang I don't remember it raining in January... global warming?
I don't normally understand a lot of things business-wise. Maybe there's wisdom behind this moving. But I do feel like my family was sort of dissolved. Moments like these, you realize that geography is so important in keeping a relationship. Our group has become like a family in a way... my home away from home... and now, we're being evicted. I know that we'll still see each other. But without them, work life just won't be the same...
Everything was happening at the same time. There was so much work to be done, I missed stuff outside of my work life, and my friend was taken away. I couldn't take it, I had to bawl. Good thing Tanya was there. She gave me a hug, I picked myself up, and had to zone out of my emotions and zone into the work that had to be done. See, this is the discipline and emotional steel I've been learning on the job. And what do you know, mom's still right...
Life is better when you live detached - that way, you don't get too attached and therefore, you don't get super hurt when people leave you, or your idea of happiness ain't met. It's hard to let people completely in because if you do and they go away, it's like there's a space that you just can't fill. Kind of like the missing piece. the piece is unique and can never be replaced...
WHAT I ATE TODAY:
BREAKFAST:
- 6 pcs. Breaded Fish Fillet w/ tartar sauce
- 1 cup of Rice
LUNCH:
(none) ... I know. It's bad. There was just so much to do and I couldn't spare a minute to just breathe.
*Thankfully Mara texted that she was in the area so I stepped out to get some fresh air. We caught up for a bit and decided to meet up later at night.
DINNER:
- 1 Bottled Water
- KFC Asian Chicken Salad
- 3 Sips of San Mig Pale Pilsen
*Afterwards, I met up with Mara again for a nightcap away from the work stress. Well, the get-go was work stress which I set aside for a minute to get some sanity back into my life until it was back to work past 1am. Exag! I haven't even seen any of the DBDs I bought. That's normal I guess. We chatted up a storm until I had to bounce.
*Reality Check: I like it when I have to work towards a certain goal - it's a probably a consequence of having things come easy. Believe me, it's not something I'm proud of. When you're working towards something, it's like the prize is covetable, and you desire it with all your heart. And the journey is more priceless while you enjoy every moment of it.
GOAL 1: Drop down to 150 pounds.
GOAL 2: Find a good school and move to New York.
*Harvey keeps telling me that I have to New York. That's the only way I'll really grow up. And I quite agree. You can't grow up here if you're too sheltered. You have to be out in the open, and you have to fend for yourself, and it's the only time you realize the value of having true friends. Wow, I seriously can't wait to move to NYC!
*My passion is writing >> It's really when I'm most alive. Go Mara! We can do this! Write, breathe, and live!
MORNING WEIGHT:
216 pounds
EVENING WEIGHT:
215.5 pounds
toff!
ReplyDeletei didn't know you plan to move to NYC. i (MIGHT) move there in a year or so. (crossing my fingers)
hope all is well! =)
wen
haha! yey, kitakits sa NYC!
ReplyDeletei like following this blog. it's 2000 and thin, plus bits of being human.
ReplyDeletei also have problems with being too attached to people. hello, i cry after every prod HAHAHA. kasi even if you know you'd be fine on your own, it also helps to have friends around. like, you've already had a taste of life with those people and you get to learn that it's good. so, why let go of them?
i miss you, toff!!