Just came back from a really fun dinner at Trellis with the cast and crew and friends of 9 Works Theatrical's Rent the Musical. It's one of those things when you just get to bond with people, discover new stuff about the people you barely know, and just really hang out and chill after a really successful show. Today, the cast really outdid themselves. It's probably the best show yet since I've been watching since Sunday. The cast has really gone full circle and they just keep getting. Amazing! Amazing! I'm so proud of them.
Today was one of those emotional rollercoasters again for me - full of ups and downs. I started really low, late for work, and I had a crying session with my friend Ayen about how unhappy I've been these past couple of weeks. Fuck I mean... so unhappy that I've been starting each blog entry with rants of depression, anxiety, loneliness and all that shit. Yup, she did notice that I'm not the same sunshine Toff who just gets people up, and gets really hyper and bouncy all over the place. I've been corporatized - jaded. Uy, may word palang corporatized? I thought it would have a red line on it or something (pag wrong spelling).
Well, Ayen was right. I have changed. I noticed I've become impatient at work, staring off to sunset so many times, and my drive is just waning. It's probably because I haven't really been able to carry out anything but plan, plan, and do more planning. Sometimes, parang, stop the bickering, let's just get to work. Why make it complex if you can simplify... right?
Anyway, after I had a cathartical (uy, may word na cathartical din? My articulateness is manifesting coz of the beer. haha) release with Ayen... I headed to MoA to meet up with the family who came all the way to the South to visit me and keep me company. They must've been reading all my angst-y blogs... We had a good lunch at Fridays and threw some creative ideas, arriving at artistic realizations.
MAMA SAYS MERCY - - - SAY IT AS IT IS - - - two blogs that will rock your world as soon as they get put up.
Anyway, I realized that the reason I've been feeling this way about work is that I've been so immersed in RENT for these past couple of weeks, about LA VIE BOHEME... NO DAY BUT TODAY... THERE IS NO FUTURE NOR PAST... I LIVE EACH MOMENT AS MY LAST... that it's starting to rub off on me that, hey, maybe you're meant to be doing other things - things that make you most alive and passionate. Of course my number 1 love will always be theater. Second is writing. And I guess I just put two and two together for marketing so it's been working for me. I like what Rev and Mara said... you have to be doing another thing because it makes you appreciate more what you do on the side.
They're right... if I wasn't working a corporate job... I'd probably be putang puta na being so immersed in my passion na there's nothing to look forward to anymore. Now, I look forward to helping out in theater! I look forward to RENT... I look forward to seeing the cast and the production improve and improve as the days go by. As I am proud of them, my happiness also activates. Viva La Vie Boheme!
WHAT I ATE TODAY:
- 4 pcs. vegetable quesadilla
- Some of Mara's asian chicken salad
- a sliver of Rev's chicken crispies
Dinner: from Trellis
- 1 Bottle of San Mig Light
- 1 Bottle of Gilbey's Premium
None - but I can't wait for my tennis tomorrow. Yey! I'm starting again. So exciting!
ALCOHOL - - - already mentioned
SIGHTS AND SOUNDS:
*Guess who watched the show?
* I saw Belli and David also with Tita Sandra, Noel and Belli's family! And Ynna who I haven't seen since our Pangasinan trip
*yan kasi... di na nakaka-exercise...
- 2000 and SAME