Sunday, February 7, 2010

DAY 28: Cover. Mask. Hide.

Today was a pretty eventful day. I started out by playing tennis under the sun with my friend Cristina. Got a tan too. Thanks for inviting me by the way. We will now be doing this once a week in honor of 2000 and Thin. We were rallying at first with a trainer, until another trainer came and we got to focus more on hitting the balls back and our fighting form (which admittedly wasn't up to par with the trainers)..

I used to play against the Class S lot and would actually win... i don't know what happened. Well, weight happened. I'm so out of shape. I used to be able to do this for three hours straight - Now, I'm panting after 30. But it's still there. It's still there... just hidden beneath the bulge and the rustiness. Got myself a new tennis racket because the one currently displayed is five years old, strings brittle, grip falling apart, and really just old. New racket, new self.

After rallying, we played an actual game and to great misfortune, made this much progress
(or anti-progress):

6-0 (love)
6-0 (love) in favor of the trainers. wonk wonk

Afterwards, I hung out at the Cogons with Cris, and Mara and Nicole joined us later after their lunch - before we ultimately decided to catch an impromptu movie. The Princess and the Frog! Super nice! I must've cried three times - once 'coz the Disney musical is back in fighting form (and so shall I after playing tennis once a week), and another two times during the sad scenes. I dunno... the movie had me emotionally involved. It brought back a lot of memories. Good ones. Of a time before I got jaded and cynical about life.

Man, I've been so emotional this whole week that passed. I hate being emotional. I hate opening my heart.

Wagner joined us for the movie and afterwards, the five us headed to Rockwell Club to hang by the poolside. It's a really intimate and understated location. I love it, sans aerobics girl! Had some beer and yummy shoestring onions that are apparently from Gram's Diner (shoot I love that place). They have a satellite station at the Rockwell Club. Awesome! P.s. Blackberry is too cool. I must get one soon - only coz we were BBM-ing Harvey pictures and voice notes as if he wasn't halfway around the world.

Afterwards, I dropped by Commune to hang out with Christel who I haven't seen in a week. I was telling her about the Jocelyn situation which still has me really worried and dreading what's to come. Man, Jocelyn is the wind beneath my wings. I cannot afford to lose her because I will just die and wilt and not be able to function at all. Noel joined us eventually and we were all hanging out over smokes and Fit n' Right before I had to fly to RCBC to at least catch Seasons of Love - ya like I haven't seen the show a gazillion times. The cast never ceases to amaze me. Heck, the show never ceases to amaze me. 

*The new endorsers of Fit n' Right. haha! 

Hung out with the RENT cast afterwards in our usual post-show tambayan... JT's Manukan. I was telling Nicole and Carlos... oh man, the worst has happened. What I was fearing and dreading the most has happened... I'm getting attached. I'm so attached to the show that it's all I can think of. It's all I sing in the morning, at night, at work, with my friends, in the shower, while pooping, while thinking, while being. I'm becoming RENT, I'm being overcome by RENT that it makes me wake up everyday with so much spark, enthusiasm, and relative confusion.

Theater is coming back to my life. And with that... the emotional rollercoaster that renders me at both my happiest and my saddest - which I hate. I hate the highs and lows... I love the highs but they usually come with lows and the lows scare me. I only like being in the middle. Art is activating me again... and I've been running away from it with a stoic, detached self that refuses to let art and feelings in. This can't happen because I can't function when there's so much emotion clouding my thought. I become emotionally unstable. I hate and love art at the same time... Because once again, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm so alive... in the words of Next to Normal! But also... prone to the down moments where I can't see past what's right in front of me, when I live no day but today and forget about tomorrow.

Detach... detach... Unhinge from your emotional self. Mind over heart. Cover. Mask. Hide. And lose weight.


- 2 Bowls of Mongolian (ayayay!)
- Buko Shake
- A lot of water since I was so dehydrated

*How good is this right?

- 1 Bottled Water
- Shitty buko sorbet from Lulu Belle... see, I should've gotten the yogurt... damnit!
- Shoestring Onions
- 1 Mug of San Mig Light

*how good is this?

Dinner / Alcohol 
- 2 Sticks of Yanyan w/ White Chocolate
- 1 Bottle of San Mig Light from JT's

Me and Cristina strike a pose. I look like shit

Guess who watched RENT today? My high school classmate Erik and his girlfriend Cherry. Hi guys!

A poster that hangs at JT's Manukan. Classic OPM ... Classic Oro Plata Mata

Felix eating like two sticks of chicken inasal. yum. lucky fuck

Nic and her liempo... oh god

Peachykins and her fattening dessert.

204 pounds

206.5 pounds

Crap stop thinking about it! 2000 and Frustrated


  1. Haha. You actually posted it! My body has its own problems, mind you. Hey, I'm excited for this journey of yours. If you need a support group, tell us. :p -Felix

  2. hey felix! haha. yup, i'm posting everyday til I achieve my target. thanks man :) yes I do need a support group to keep me focused!